When the Vision Fades - Recovery Blog
- Nick Warnke
- Nov 27
- 3 min read
A Year ago when I started this journey of stepping out on my own to start my own company, I never could have imaged the difficulties and obstacles that I would soon face. The partnership agreement that I signed only covered 40k and my business partner has since stopped paying the salary and we have not finished the website or app thought he developers that we had hired.
Basically, I am in a far worse off position than when I started, I am getting deeper into debt and now I have been applying for jobs basically everywhere that I can think of. My I came really close to eviction last month, I have no clue how I am going to pay any of my bills coming up and have only had one phone interview.
Its been a rough road and I am really trying hard not to be resentful, the partnership has been great up until now and I guess I am not sure there is anything else either of us could do, the challenges with the website and lack of marketing funds, left basically everything on my shoulders. From building the website, trying to make the apps work, and doing all of the marketing, sales, production and networking.
I find myself burned out, I do not have the vision that I once did, it does not bring the same fire of ambition and I know not what lay ahead but I know that I am barely holding on. Its looking like I am probably going to have to put in my notice here at the apartment and try to find somewhere else to move but I have no income so that is an impossibility until I land some sort of employment.
The outlook I once had was so bright and I was truly excited to chase after this dream but now I just don't see it happening. AI is everywhere now, new apps are coming out daily and my idea is just one among the thousands that are now out there. It still does not do the features most important and I have no money left on my subscriptions and they are all cancelled so I cannot even work on them anymore and I no longer see the point.
Most days I don't even know what I am working towards, endless hours on the computer, generating code, building websites and apps, for what? The experience is the only thing and I don't yet know what good that is going to do without any engineering degree's or official resume experience. Just the websites that mostly work except for the key parts that would make them different and unique.
I have been trying to pray and give it all to God, praying for wisdom, opportunities, a good Woman, and I am still once again back into the Wilderness of my own fears and insecurities. Without the success I was chasing, without the successful business, and without any immediate solutions to my future, I find it pointless to even hope at finding a romantic partner.
That has been the hardest thing to let go of and maybe that has been the test all along. The answer is not clear and I am left to continue practicing patience and hoping that something comes along, one of the deals close I am waiting on, something.
This too shall pass.... I hope
Happy Thanksgiving to the World and Bless any reading this with good health and prosperity. May they find whatever peace and happiness they seek in life.
God Bless,
Nick
Metanoia Memoir
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